I love the picture of God as Redeemer. It’s always been the part of His character that I’m drawn to most, the Name I’ve treasured most. He always seems to speak to me in that way too.
My whole life story is full of Redemption. Every turn, every clear path, every stormy shore is covered with it. And when I hear God speaking loudest to me…it’s always when He is redeeming something for me. Like my Birthday.
Today is my Birthday. In the past, I’ve never looked forward to it. It was always a day filled with anxiety and fear. I never knew if it was going to be good day or a bad day because I never knew who my Mom would be that day.
Most Birthdays growing up have been hard. I was never made to feel like it was an important day or even a special day. I was reminded of what a hardship I was. I was reminded of the pain I cause just by being. I was told many things. Things I now know to be Lies from the Enemy.
I don’t really blame my Mom. I mean, I am still angry most of the time, but I don’t blame her. I’m old enough now to be able to see that she was never meant to be who she was/is. She’s ill. She needs help. I can’t really hold her responsible for the pain she’s inflicted. The Enemy uses what he can…and unfortunately that means he uses my Mom’s illness against her, myself, our family, etc.
But, the last few years have been interesting. God has placed some very special people in my life. People I consider to be “family” in the truest sense. They are remarkable people. They love me despite me at every turn of the road. They go out of their way to celebrate me and the friendships I have with them on my Birthday. They are determined that my Birthday be full of Truth and Love.
So even when I’m not sure how my Birthday will be affected by the Enemy’s pull on my Mom’s heart, I know that she loves me and were she truly Free, she would tell me so. And I know that, because I choose Truth. I choose Love. And because these blessings God has given me over the years, my “family” outside of family, refuse to let me believe anything else.
Happy Birthday, to me! What a precious gift I have indeed.
*Originally posted via Facebook Notes, Mar 31,2010
My whole life story is full of Redemption. Every turn, every clear path, every stormy shore is covered with it. And when I hear God speaking loudest to me…it’s always when He is redeeming something for me. Like my Birthday.
Today is my Birthday. In the past, I’ve never looked forward to it. It was always a day filled with anxiety and fear. I never knew if it was going to be good day or a bad day because I never knew who my Mom would be that day.
Most Birthdays growing up have been hard. I was never made to feel like it was an important day or even a special day. I was reminded of what a hardship I was. I was reminded of the pain I cause just by being. I was told many things. Things I now know to be Lies from the Enemy.
I don’t really blame my Mom. I mean, I am still angry most of the time, but I don’t blame her. I’m old enough now to be able to see that she was never meant to be who she was/is. She’s ill. She needs help. I can’t really hold her responsible for the pain she’s inflicted. The Enemy uses what he can…and unfortunately that means he uses my Mom’s illness against her, myself, our family, etc.
But, the last few years have been interesting. God has placed some very special people in my life. People I consider to be “family” in the truest sense. They are remarkable people. They love me despite me at every turn of the road. They go out of their way to celebrate me and the friendships I have with them on my Birthday. They are determined that my Birthday be full of Truth and Love.
So even when I’m not sure how my Birthday will be affected by the Enemy’s pull on my Mom’s heart, I know that she loves me and were she truly Free, she would tell me so. And I know that, because I choose Truth. I choose Love. And because these blessings God has given me over the years, my “family” outside of family, refuse to let me believe anything else.
Happy Birthday, to me! What a precious gift I have indeed.
*Originally posted via Facebook Notes, Mar 31,2010
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