Day 19

Day 19...now this was fun.  I recently found an old picture of me, my sister, and our cousins when we were all little tiny things.  It's fabulous and I couldn't wait to post it.  So here ya go...oh and I'm the one in the middle with the green shirt.  My daddy informed me that he thought I was some little boy he couldn't remember sitting there next to my cousin.  I prefer to think that is because this is a very old picture and it's a little faded.  (Phoebe: consider yourself avenged, please ;) )



From left to right: Shane, Kimberly, Michael, Me, Robert, and Jeron.  Aren't we cute?? :)

It still amazes me that my Meme and Papa used to keep all six of us at once on occasion.  We were messes! I miss those days when we were all always together and getting into all kinds of trouble..actually the boys were always in trouble...I was just usually tagging along watching the trouble.  Time moves swiftly.  I hope we will have more times when we are all together again.  I miss my cousins and as I get older I realize how important they are.

Day 18

Day 18: A picture of my biggest insecurity....

Will I be a good wife??

There ya go folks...that's my biggest insecurity right now.  I wrestle with whether I will make it as a wife.  Will I be a good one?  Will I be a loving one?  Will I be like the wife in Proverbs?  Or will I grow bitter and condescending and pushy and terrible?  Will I be the helpmate my husband needs? Or will I drive him away and build up a bridge between us so far across that neither of us will be willing to cross it again? 

I don't have the answers to these questions.  But I do know that God is good and faithful.  I know that if I can continue to cling to Him it doesn't matter what the question is...the answer is always Him and Him alone.

Day 17

Whew! When I started this journey I did not anticipate how busy I would get with work, school, ministry...good grief.  I'm slowly but surely catching up though...today will be another whirlwind of blogging for as long as I can get it in.  So hang tight.

Day 17 is about something that has made a huge impact on my life recently.  I don't have a picture...mainly because I'm not creative enough to come up with a way to photograph it.  Maybe I should have asked my friend Lynn (photographer extraordinaire...don't believe me?  You should go see my engagement/wedding pics.  Tell me she isn't a genius. I dare you. ;).  Anyway, the thing of which I speak is this: counseling.  Yep.  It's had a HUGE impact on my life. 

Counseling has given me a sense of self back.  Well, the tools I've gained through counseling have anyway.  I feel like I suddenly have a whole repertoire of resources to draw on to handle any situation.  I've started processing my thoughts in a healthy way and acting on them in a healthy way.  I've learned how to allow myself emotions without allowing my emotions to rule me.  I'm learning so much about communication and boundaries.  It has been such a great process for me.

Most importantly, I'm healthy.  Mentally and spiritually.  (I've gotta start working on that physically part again soon.)  I've regained a sense of connection to my community and my Savior.  My relationship with Jesus is steadily getting back to a great place.  I've never felt more attuned to the Spirit than I do right now either. 
And I'm learning to trust Father on a whole new level.

I am so thankful for counseling and my therapist, Lisa.  I'm thankful to my husband and Nikki for supporting me in the decision to seek counseling.  I'm thankful to my Princess Linda for always being so willing to counsel me "on the side" so to speak and reinforce the things I'm learning from Lisa. 

Counseling has been a very good thing.  I think everyone should do it! ;)

Day 16

Day 16 is supposed to be a picture of someone who inspires me.  I don't know if I am inspired by one person entirely, so I decided to go a different route with this one.  I chose to represent authors who have inspired me either with their lives, their work, or their characters...or all of the above.  From the time I was a little girl until now I have been in love with books.  I love to read and I have always wanted to write wonderful stories that would come alive in the hearts and minds of those who read them. 

E.B. White

"Charlotte's Web" by E.B. White is my all time favorite book.  It's the first book that touched me deeply.  I think I was six years old at the time.  But it changed my life.  Not only did I love books, but I suddenly desired to create stories as vivid and heart-wrenching as Charlotte and Wilbur's story.  Mr. White's story sparked the first glint of creativity in my little soul.

Louisa May Alcott

Next, I ate up the "Little Women" books...I adored the March family and followed them through each of the books.  "Jo's Boys" is my favorite.  I devoured everything written by Ms. Alcott with such hunger, my mother wasn't sure what she'd do when I ran out.  (She introduced me to Lucy Maud Montgomery, who I loved, but always went back to Louisa time after time.)

Madeleine L'Engle

One of the first fantasy books I ever read was "A Wrinkle In Time".  From that moment on I was hooked on fantasy.  I wanted more.  I wanted to write it.  It was the epitome of everything I'd ever tried to imagine and I loved it.

Is it any wonder then that I continue to re-read and draw inspiration from the following authors?

C.S. Lewis

Garth Nix

J.K. Rowling

Stephenie Meyer

Neil Gaiman

I still have stories trapped in my head and my heart.  Maybe one day I'll be brave enough (and less critical of myself) to put pen to paper and dream for a public audience.  Maybe.  But, I will always love books and the people who write them.  Because they inspire me to dream. 

Day 15

Something I want to do before I die is collect the passport stamps from the following countries: France, Italy, and Greece.  I have wanted to travel these places for as long as I can remember:

Day 14

I can never imagine my life without him.

Day 13

My favorite band or artist, huh?  I simply don't have one.  I love music and art and I love it so much and so many different genres that I've never been able to settle on an all-time favorite.  I find the beauty in just about all of it.  Kinda boring, but it's the truth.  So no picture this time, sorry.  (What a waste of a blog post).

Day 12

Something I love.   One word: Ministry.  I love serving Jesus.  I love ministering to teenage girls.  I am incredibly blessed to be a part of Bridge416 Student Ministry and I.D. Ministries. 

Converge 2010

Day 11

There is no picture for the thing I hate.  It is invisible.  It happens every day, everywhere.  It happens in our own community.  Our country, home of the brave/land of the free, has become the number one importer of slaves.
Human trafficking is rampant all over the world, but the United States is contributing to the enslavement of men, women, and children in a huge way.  Oklahoma and Texas rank in the top ten of human trafficking high traffic areas. All the major highways run right through us. 
It breaks my heart and makes me sick.  I truly hate this evil.

Check out these websites:
http://oathcoalition.org/
http://www.mercyministries.org/homepage/
http://www.ijm.org/

I hope you will join me in bringing awareness to this issue and find ways to help stop it.  Each of the websites listed above have valuable resources and information related to the cause of ending modern day slavery.

Day 10

Day 10 features a picture of the person I do the most messed up things with.  I'm gonna have to go with one April Coates.  If I'm doing something goofy, semi-dangerous, or even questionable, you can bet she had something to do with it. 
I've wandered the 'hood of OKC with her.  I've eaten things I don't even want to know actually are because she ordered it for me.  I've seen my life flash before my eyes too many times to count while accompanying her on an "adventure". 
In fact, all of these things are why Andrew and I came up with the "April's fault" logic in high school.  We figured out a way to always logically blame April for anything, anywhere.  It's kind of like the "Kevin Bacon" game only without degrees of separation or positive publicity, really.
She's my BFF and I love her. :)

April thinks she's got street cred.