Runaway

Another poem...They just pop into my head and I'm never convinced that I actually like them, but here you go:

I'm caught in the in-between and I'm never sure anymore.
Should I run or should I hide?
Either way, I might die and I'm so afraid to be unafraid because you might leave me here alone.

Can you hear my heart breaking?
It's so loud, it's all I hear, like an ocean in my ears.
Will you stop to save me now or will you stand and watch me drown?

Do you know how close I am to falling all apart?
Can you hear me screaming out over the fear inside my heart?

You tell me that I'm brave and I know that it's not true...
I'm only brave when I'm with you.


I think sometimes that this is how I treat the Lord.  I'm running scared and I'm afraid to trust Him.  I just keep moving, hoping that if I'm moving, then I won't sink.  It all comes back to Him standing in front of me, holding out His hand, and asking me: "Do you trust Me?  Will you let Me lead?"  I get so busy seeing how I'm leaving Him behind that I forget He's never left my side.  So it's time to be a brave girl and recognize His strength in my weakness (something my sweet friend, Darah, is so good at reminding me of).  I have to stop running because I'm only going to get all out of breath.  It's time to sit awhile and get my bearings and allow Jesus to lead the way.  Yes, even if that means I don't "get my way" or really know the plan (right, Jayci? ;)). 

Uh oh, I think I feel that stretching feeling you get right before some major growing pains...