Fooshee Family Gathering 2010: AKA the Kayaking Debacle

This past weekend Andrew and I headed to Broken Bow, OK to spend time with some of Andrew's family...the Fooshee side to be exact. Tammy and Matt flew down as well and the group consisted of the 4 of us Bancrofts who were able to make it (Charlie was finishing up camp), Grandpa and Grandma Fooshee (Tammy's parents), Aunt Kathy (Tammy's sis) and Uncle Bob, Cousin Gina, Cousin David and his adorable wife Genevieve, Uncle Mike (Tammy's bro) and Aunt Misti and their children (+one friend), 16 people all together.

Aunt Kathy and Uncle Bob rented a cabin and we all hung out (the Bancrofts for the weekend, the others for a little longer). Sunday morning was planned for the big river excursion. Aunt Kathy announced that she'd booked us Kayaks and we'd be floating down the river that day. That should have been my first warning, the second one should have been when the Bancroft side of the family all joked about Courtney having an "accident".

The float trip started out pretty successfully and before long we were all pretty capable of guiding the kayaks down the river. Mountain Fork River mind you is a pretty calm river and pretty perfect for float trips, especially for those of us not quite up to more exciting trips that involve navigating extreme rapids.

Many of us spent more time in the water than in the boats, but we were having fun. I only got stuck a couple of times and made it down the water fall (very small) without too much difficulty. In fact, towards the end of the trip, I was pretty proud that I had yet to fall completely over or out of the kayak and I still had completely dry hair! I was looking forward to those good hair after pics. That should have been my 3rd warning.

By the end of the river, the majority of the group had gone ahead quite a ways down the river...that's right the 4 Bancrofts were bringing up the rear,ha-ha. We'd worked really hard by that point and felt that letting the river float us the rest of the way was a great reward. Matt and I were a little bit ahead of Tammy and Andrew (does that really surprise anyone who knows us both? Lol.) and were having a nice leisurely conversation (sort of...for us anyway ;)). In fact, Matt and I could no longer see the group ahead or the mom/brother team behind us.

No sooner had we commented on how calm and smooth this particular bend of the river seemed than it picked up speed at a surprising rate. Now, I'm not sure exactly how we got ourselves in this mess but Matt and I somehow ended up headed for the only opening in the bend at the exact same speed and angle only from opposite directions. I noticed, with some concern, that to get to the end of the river, we needed to curve past a bank of rocks with a huge tree growing in the middle of the river, and through a 4 foot wide gap connected to another bank of rocks. We were not going to be able to go through at the same time.

I suggested Matt try and squeeze through first. He thought maybe I should go. I thought I could see how to go without too much trouble and agreed. And here's where we got in trouble. We tried to make a plan. Bancroft family trend: our plans fail. Epically.

We were still discussing the best way to get through the gap when the river picked up speed once again. We were moving pretty quickly now. And I wasn't quite ready. Neither was Matt.

I was trying to angle my kayak just right when I noticed that at the angle Matt was floating, he was probably going to hit the back of my kayak and mess my angle up. I was still trying to figure out to remedy this when the inevitable disaster happened. (Matt would probably like to interject right about now that me trying to figure out angles was the whole problem...considering he was the only reason I passed geometry).

See, I kinda forgot to keep paddling while I was watching Matt and my boat drifted. As I glanced back up, I realized I was about to hit some rather large rocks. I quickly threw my paddle out in front of me thinking that if I could use my paddle to bounce me away from the rocks, then I'd be ok. Ha-ha. Yeah. As you'll see, we Bancrofts had real bad ideas all around about how to use the paddles to our benefit. The paddle flew out of my hand and my boat hit the tree with great speed and force, horrible combination those two.

The impact with the tree threw me out of my boat and I smacked face first into the tree. The tree didn't like this too much, so it threw me into the water. At this point, my kayak lodged on the massive rock and I was now submerged beneath it.

Now the smack from the tree disoriented me a little and I remember opening my eyes and seeing the boat stuck on top of me. You'd think that this would panic me. I remember being alarmed, but thinking, fairly calmly I might add," OK...that boat has to move or I'm in trouble."

After struggling to get the boat to move, I realized that the situation might be a little more serious than I thought. I pushed against it a few times, but the river was very deep and I only succeeded in pushing myself deeper and the boat didn’t move. I was also stuck between the rocks and couldn't see where to get around the boat. This is when I started to panic slightly. I remember telling myself to think and to not start thrashing around in the water or I'd use up my breath.

By then Matt had managed to get to me and the boat was no longer on top of me. But that tree hit me harder than I thought, because the second I bounced up and took a breath I got disoriented again and couldn't tell up from down. I kept trying to turn my face into the water instead of out of it. This resulted in my breathing in a bit of river and I started coughing. The water was in my face and I couldn't see. Frantically I started trying to keep myself floating (you know the drill...c'mon swim lessons...bicycle man!!).

The next thing I know, the back of my head cracked against a rock...or so I thought at the time. Actually, my rock was Matt's attempt at using the paddle to his benefit :). He was trying to get me to grab it so he could pull me to safety. He didn't realize that I couldn't see him. He successfully whacked me on the back of the head.

After the paddle failed him, Matt realized he was going to have to try and grab me or I was going to drown for real. So, somehow, Matt got close enough and made a grab...he got my head. Better than nothing at all I suppose ;). He pulled me up enough to cup my face and keep it out of the water and then got his kayak through the gap and further down the river.

About a minute later, the current slowed down enough for him to grab my arm and position me more safely against the side of the kayak. It was still deep and fairly swift moving water though and I was just gonna have to ride that way.

I think Matt thought I was hysterical at first because I busted out laughing and couldn't stop. Honestly, I had just calmed down and was laughing at how ridiculous the situation was. I'd made it down the ENTIRE FREAKIN' river and wiped out in the last couple miles of the trip. It was pretty funny.

Eventually we made it to a shallow enough part of the river for me to try and stand up and for Matt to try and stop and make sure I was really ok. Some of our group was already waiting there. Apparently, they were just chilling waiting on us and my kayak, hat, paddle, life vest, and shoe (my CHACO!!! I was so happy I hadn't lost it!!) had come FLYING down the river without a person attached. They were waiting to see who and how bad it was. Lol.

As I was standing there thanking Jesus for my life (and my Chaco!) and Matt was explaining what happened to the rest of the group, Andrew and Tammy came floating around the bend. Matt took great joy in informing Andrew that he'd saved the life of his brother's wife.

My husband’s response was somewhere between: Yep, saw that coming and ARE YOU OK?!?!. Tammy's response: Oh my...Courtney...where's your boat? (Classic Tammy :)) Matt also fessed up to the whack on the head and I readily forgave him. I was just glad he'd been there to attempt my rescue. The rest of the family was appropriately concerned/amused and we moved on down the river to the pickup point.

All in all it was a good trip. Tammy says the Fooshee clan wants to make this an annual get together. I think they might be trying to kill me ;). Ok guys, I'm in...but next time...I'm wearing a helmet!!! Screw good hair!

Relationships Are the Flowers in the Garden of Life

Well. Sort of. Please forgive the cheesy title...but I really couldn't think of any other way to describe my line of thought. I've been thinking about relationships a lot lately. In particular...healthy relationships, what they look like, and how to maintain them (or not).

Something I've found myself repeating consistently over the last couple of years is, "Relationships change. They constantly look different. And you have to be OK with that." It has almost become my mantra.

As I continue to 'grow up', I have noticed that I examine relationships in a different way. I weigh them. I determine their value. I check for signs of Life and Death in them. I ask myself:'Is this relationship healthy?'

That's where the analogy I drew my title from comes in to play. I began to think about relationships in view of how my relationship with Christ works. I love the picture of the vine Jesus paints in John 15. He describes beautifully the process of tending the vine and making it healthy enough to bear fruit. He painfully describes the process of getting rid of the unhealthy vine, tossing it away to burn in the fire.

One of my least favorite words in John 15 is 'pruning'. It literally brings out an involuntary physical reaction from me when I hear it. Usually a shiver through my spine and an exasperated 'ugh!' I tend to be pretty surly when the topic of pruning is brought up as well. Nikki Lokey once told me she can always tell when Jesus is pruning me because of my attitude. (Which I'll be the first to admit is usually a bad one.) She went on to tell me however, that while pruning is no fun, it usually produces an incredibly beautiful plant.

Encylopedia Brittanica Online's listing for pruning says this:

the removal or reduction of parts of a plant, tree, or vine that are not
requisite to growth or production, are no longer visually pleasing, or are
injurious to health or development of the plant.

I think we can all see the spiritual implications that Jesus was pointing out about his relationship to us, but do you see the implications to relationships in general? Ultimately, our relationships with others are to reflect the relationship modeled between ourselves and Christ. So if it's that important that He be pruning us and making us healthy, productive, and beautiful, doesn't it stand to reason that our relationships with others need this as well?

If any of you actually pay attention to the things I post you will remember a note I posted on Facebook awhile back. I'd written the note after I read a book by Francine Rivers called Leota's Garden. In the note, I highlighted some of the Truths that Francine had so beautifully proclaimed in the book. Specifically, the process of pruning. Consider this:"A good pruning stimulates the right kind of growth. Same holds true with people." - Leota Reinhardt, Leota's Garden by Francine Rivers

Wise words. If our relationships with people are going to be healthy then we need to give ourselves a good pruning. And sometimes that means that the relationship may look different or even need to be cut off and removed completely. Will it be easy? No. Pruning is often hard, tiresome, and dirty work. Is it worth it? Yes. Being healthy is always worth it.

A word of warning though: Unskilled pruning can result in weakening the plant to the point of killing it. So before you start hacking off branches and hoping for the best, I suggest you start with asking God to prune you. And yes. I do happen to know exactly what I just said. Before you can do any worthwhile pruning in your relationships with others, you must make sure that your connection to the True Vine is healthy first. Otherwise, you will only have succeeded in landing yourself in the fire.

So, that's where I am right now. I have finally begun to maintenance my 'garden of relationships'. I am pruning and weeding and cultivating. But, the difference now is that I am also making sure that my relationship with Christ and others is healthy, fruitful, and pleasing to His eyes.


*(For further suggestions about how to create and maintain healthy relationships, there is a book called Boundaries by authors Cloud and Townsend. You may find it helpful. I haven't read it yet,frankly, because it scares the crap outta me, but I plan to soon. I have gleaned wisdom from its pages for years now through wise friends who have read the book.)