So, I've been supposed to be working on some material for Fearless...the next retreat series for I.D. Ministries. I'm not gonna lie. I have been ignoring it. You see, I'm a pretty fearful girl. I don't know that I can handle being fearless. I want to be. I do. But, I'm afraid that being fearful will be easier than being fearless. Anyone else seeing how deeply the Enemy has lied to me? I have fallen for it too, head over heels. Just as my mother, Eve, did. This is a problem. Commence Operation Walking in Freedom.
I realized that in order for my fearlessness to be developed, I needed to believe something else: that I am FREE. That means walking in the freedom Christ won for me on the cross. That also means confronting the Enemy and my fears head on with Truth. So as I confronted a few personal fears this morning, the first piece of writing that I've gotten stuck in my head in awhile started flowing from my pen.
It's a little rough(and by rough, I mean, really kind of horrible), but it's honest. It's also the first bit of 'poetry' that I've written in almost a year. I'm not sure I like it. But, Jesus told me to share it. So here it is, my honest prayer:
When it rains, it pours,
and all I feel is cold.
I'm drowning in my fears,
and it's more than life I'll lose.
When will you see my pain?
When will it speak to you?
When the sun comes out again,
I know I'll see the change,
but Lord, it's hard to wait,
I just wanna hear You call my name.
So pick us up and hold us close,
heal the wounds until they're closed.
Whisper Truth and certainty,
and teach us all Your ways.
Because the fear is crowding in,
and I can't stand to fall again.
So pick us up and hold us close,
until we're whole in You again.
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